Holiday Anxiety: My Guide to Surviving Christmas

The lights, mulled everything, time off work… there’s a lot to love about this time of year.

But for many people, the holiday season can also usher in added stress. Increased social demands, disrupted routines, money pressures, family dynamics, sensory overload, and the pressure to “be festive” can all amplify anxiety. Especially if you also live with OCD, phobias, ADHD, or patterns of negative thinking.

Or if, for personal reasons, this time of year is simply a difficult one for you.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, Winter Solstice, Diwali, or nothing at all, this guide is here to help. The goal isn’t to share a one-size-fits-all “top tips” kinda solution, but to offer real, personalised reflections to notice what already supports you.

So you can do more of what works.

1. Remember what already helps

Even though things can feel off kilter this time of year, most people already have something in their life that helps them feel regulated and grounded.

For me, it’s things like knitting, journalling, walking the dog, and going to a hot yoga class. And even when time is short, it can be something as simple as a micro-moment: like making a cup of tea, having a quiet five minutes in the morning, or brushing my teeth before bed and reflecting on the small wins from the day.

If you’re not sure what yours is, ask yourself :

When do I feel even 5% more settled, and how can I gently grow those moments?

Then, practice mindfully weaving them into your days. Your brain is already familiar with these moments, so they don’t require a huge effort. And when you practice them, they’ll remind your nervous system that everything is OK.

If you live with phobias or travel worries, the logistics of the holidays can throw up many triggers. But chances are, you already know what helps. Even slightly. Maybe sitting near an exit, arriving early, texting someone beforehand, or choosing a quieter route.

Ask yourself:

What’s helped me get through similar situations in the past?

Then treat that as your personalised toolkit.

2. When to say “no” and when to say “yes”

There’s so much happening at this time of year, and it can get overwhelming fast. We often default to saying “yes”, when what we really mean is “I’m not sure but I don’t want to disappoint you!”

This is how I try to manage festive invites:

1. “I’ll get back to you!”
It’s not a yes or a no, but it means I can take time to see where my diary and energy levels are at.

2. I check in with myself.

When to say YES: If an invitation feels energising, grounding, or meaningful (what I like to call a “full-body YES”) – then those are worth honouring.

When to say NO: But if I catch even a little flicker of guilt or resentment, that’s often a sign that I’m people-pleasing rather than choosing from a place of genuine care. Pausing to recognise that feeling helps me make decisions that align with my wellbeing.

Sometimes some people will get upset by a “no”. But A) That’s outside of our control, and B) Let’s be honest: 9 times out of 10, it’s a fear that lives in our head more than in reality.

3. Give yourself permission to leave early (especially if this has helped before)

Even when you say “yes”, there are probably gatherings where leaving early makes the whole experience more manageable.

You might ask:

If tonight went as well as it reasonably could, what time would I imagine leaving?

Having a plan often reduces the intensity of anxiety long before the moment arrives. Setting time boundaries up-front can sound like:

I’ll join you for lunch, and I’ll head off mid-afternoon.

or

I’m going to take a quiet moment, I’ll be back shortly.

4. Be gentle on your senses

If you experience ADHD or sensory sensitivity, the holidays can be loud and overwhelming. And you likely already know some things that bring relief: stepping outside briefly, dimming the lights, wearing softer fabrics, or using earplugs in loud places.

Ask yourself:

What already helps me feel regulated, even a little?

Then repeat that on purpose. You have every right to make small adjustments in your environment that make things feel gentler for you.

5. Curate what you pay attention to

It’s common for the days to get unstructured over the holidays and screen time to go up. And you may notice that some inputs (certain social media accounts, films, or environments) help you feel steady. While others… well, they make you feel rubbish. This is valuable information.

Try asking:

What makes me feel good about myself, and what do I want less of?

You might decide, for example, to mute certain accounts. Go for a walk. Then watch the same old romcom for the hundredth time. If that’s what makes you feel good, why the hell not?

6. Choose self-compassion over expectations

The pressure is on to “do” Christmas perfectly. But what’s the point if you come out the other side feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and in need of another holiday?

Self-compassion means to treat ourselves in the same warm, kind, and empathic way we would treat a friend. It’s often as simple as choosing the kinder option in the next tiny step.

Try asking:

If I was being just 5% kinder to myself right now, what would I do?

That small question makes the whole season feel more manageable.

7. Grow the parts of Christmas you genuinely enjoy

You don’t have to love every part of the season. But most people can identify something they like: lights, cold air, hot drinks, certain music, quiet evenings, festive food, a familiar film.

Solution Focused question:

What can I reduce or let go of to make space for what feels good?

Then, gently, create more of that.

A holiday reminder ✨

If you’re feeling overwhelmed this Christmas, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It could just mean that your mind and body are responding to a fast, layered season.

The strengths you already carry are still available to you: the little things that work, the moments of calm you’ve created, or the boundaries you’ve set before.

And remember: you’re allowed to do this season your way. That’s the real measure of whether you’ve done Christmas “right” is not how festive it looked but how you feel on the other side of it.

You deserve a holiday season that feels supportive, gentle, and manageable. And if you need help navigating anxiety this winter, support is available.