This one’s really close to my heart ❤️
Intrusive thoughts are like bloody pop-ups. We all get them. Most people can just click them shut and go about their day. But for some of us, it’s like every time you frantically try to close one pop-up, two more appear. The harder you try to shut them down, the faster the screen fills until it’s all you can see.
They can make your life a misery.
Intrusive thoughts can appear out of nowhere. They can manifest as thoughts, images, or urges and can be violent, sexual, or disturbing (as in the case of P-OCD). They often feel deeply shameful, which makes them so hard to talk about.
Many people suffer in silence, convinced they’re the only ones who think this way.
Today, I hope I can show you that:
- You’re not alone.
- These thoughts say nothing about who you are.
- And there is a way to loosen their hold.
My Intrusive Thoughts Story
Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy.
Brené Brown
When I was a kid, I would count my steps in a very specific pattern between classrooms at school, convinced that if I couldn’t complete the pattern, my terrible thoughts would manifest.
Later on in life, I would notice the random urge to hurt myself or others, or a deeply inappropriate thought would flicker through my mind and turn into a tropical storm. I knew deep down that I would never intentionally harm anyone… Or would I? The uncertainty made the thoughts all the more worrying, upsetting, and confusing.
I couldn’t tell who the “real” me was and what was just the thoughts. It had a horrible impact on my self-trust and self-esteem.
I kept it to myself. I thought: “This will be my life forever.”
Even while I was in therapy (for over half a decade!) I never once brought them up.
It wasn’t until I tried hypnotherapy for the first time that everything changed. Without ever mentioning my thoughts, over the course of a few sessions, it’s like the noise in my head turned down from an 11, to a 6, to 2… and then… zero ✨
The quiet I finally experienced was pure bliss! Suddenly I had the mental space to decide what I wanted to think about. I could feng shui my thoughts as I pleased.
Since then, many brave clients (and even a few friends) have shared with me their own battles with intrusive thoughts. Which is why I feel so passionately about the need to bring the topic into the light.
(Side note: conditions tied to intrusive thoughts also tend to co-occur with ADHD.)
What Do Intrusive Thoughts Say About Me?
You might believe that those intrusive thoughts mean you’re a “bad person”, a “danger”, even a “monster”.
None of that is true.
Intrusive thoughts aren’t a reflection of who you are. In fact, my experience is that they often appear in people with strong moral compasses, those who feel deeply disturbed by the idea of thinking something “bad” or “wrong.”
Most people experience unwanted, disturbing thoughts. But whereas most are able to just brush them off, some of us can become increasingly upset by their presence.
So what do intrusive thoughts say about me? When they become frequent or distressing, it can be a sign that your mind is under stress or that anxiety or OCD might be playing a role. The good news is that all the above are treatable, and with the right support, things can improve significantly.
Why Trying to ‘Stop’ Intrusive Thoughts is Futile
If you’ve ever tried to make intrusive thoughts go away, you’ll know how they seem to fight back with a vengeance. It’s like the more you tell yourself not to think about it, the louder and more persistent they become.
That’s because our minds aren’t very good at being told what not to do. If I say: “Don’t think of a pink elephant” your brain instantly conjures up a pink elephant. The same happens with intrusive thoughts. And the more we try to resist or argue with them, the more they take centre stage.
It’s simply how the brain works.
Why the Brain Spirals
When you try to suppress a thought, your brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) lights up as if something’s wrong. It starts scanning for danger and keeps checking whether the thought is gone.
Paradoxically, the very act of trying to fight the thought tells your brain it’s important. And that’s what makes it stick.
Meanwhile, the part that keeps a record of “threats” (the hippocampus) can trigger other patterns of behaviour. Things like: checking, analysing, or seeking reassurance.
The problem is that these coping strategies, while understandable, teach the brain that the thought really was dangerous and needs to be monitored. This well-intentioned feedback loop further strengthens the very pattern you want to break.
Finally, when anxiety peaks, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking and perspective (the prefrontal cortex) can temporarily go offline. That’s why logic (“I know this thought isn’t real”) often loses out to fear (“But what if it is?”).
You can understand why trying to control intrusive thoughts can often backfire. The brain’s alarm system is only trying to do its job. It’s just doing it a little too well.
A Different Way Through
So what can support us to loosen the grip of intrusive thoughts?
We can’t control our thoughts any more than we can control the weather. But we can choose how we respond to them.
One possible answer is to approach our thoughts like an emotional scientist, rather than an emotional judge.
Intrusive thoughts thrive on judgment and shame. So what happens when we can acknowledge them with curiosity, even gentle compassion? Over time, they start to lose their power.
Here are some helpful examples:
- “I am not my thoughts. I am the awareness noticing the thoughts.”
Encourages a mindful perspective, creating emotional distance. - “Even though this thought feels real, it’s not a fact.”
Remind yourself that thoughts are mental events, not evidence of reality or character. - “My brain is just trying to keep me safe, even if it’s mistaken.”
Many intrusive thoughts trigger because the brain is on high alert. Reframing reduces fear. - “Everyone has random thoughts. This one doesn’t define me.”
Normalises the experience and reduces shame. - “I can let this thought be here without letting it control me.”
Acceptance-focused, reduces the compulsion to suppress or neutralise.
These small shifts can change everything. You move from trying to control your thoughts to observing them. And in that space, peace becomes a little more possible.
Self-Care to Give Yourself the Best Shot
You may have already noticed this: intrusive thoughts are at their busiest when you’re under stress or running on empty. Supporting your body and mind through practical steps can be empowering and help you to step out of the cycle:
- Prioritise rest and consistent sleep
- Spend time with people who fill your cup
- Do more of what nourishes you (movement, creativity, connection)
- Celebrate small daily wins: momentum builds self-trust
Focusing on what you can control calms your nervous system. And when you do that, the volume of intrusive thoughts naturally begins to lower.
Sharing the Load
Confiding in someone about intrusive thoughts can feel daunting, even terrifying. Many people keep them secret for years out of fear of being misunderstood or judged.
There may be someone in your life you trust, someone who listens with empathy and without judgement. Opening up to that person, even in small ways, can be profoundly healing. It doesn’t have to be a big conversation. Sometimes simply saying “I’ve been struggling with my thoughts lately” is enough to start easing the weight.
Speaking your experience out loud breaks the isolation that intrusive thoughts feed on and reminds you that you’re not alone. You may even discover that the person you open up to has faced similar thoughts themselves, or knows someone who has.
How Hypnotherapy Can Help
Experiencing the demise of my own intrusive thoughts was a big part of why I became a hypnotherapist.
Since then, I’ve supported many others to overcome them.
Hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind, the part that runs emotional and behavioural patterns. It’s a process that typically requires between six and twelve weeks, and it can help you to:
- Calm the nervous system and quiet internal noise
- Create distance between you and your thoughts
- Focus on what you can control
- Strengthen self-compassion and confidence
- Build healthy self-care strategies
- Refocus your attention toward what you do want more of in your life
Many clients describe it as gradually turning down the background noise in their minds, discovering a calmer, more spacious state of awareness.
Recap: What Actually Works
When it comes to intrusive thoughts, true change happens through:
- Awareness. Noticing when you’re caught in the loop
- Acceptance. Letting thoughts exist without judgment
- Self-Compassion. Remembering you are not your thoughts
- Connection. Reaching out to someone you trust (a friend, loved one, or therapist) can help lift the weight of isolation
- Refocusing. Choosing to place your energy on what you can control, ie: your response, not your thoughts
With consistency and support, the mind can learn to relax. And intrusive thoughts lose their hold, freeing up space for freedom and joy to flow back into your life.
Ready to find more calm and clarity?
If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts, please know you’re not broken. Your mind is simply asking for a gentler, more compassionate way of being understood.
Through hypnotherapy, we can help your mind learn new, calmer responses to intrusive thoughts, gradually quieting the noise and creating more space for peace, focus, and self-trust.
You don’t have to face this alone.
Book a free initial consultation with me to to find out how we could create more peace and mental space in your life.
